“I lied. Well, I didn't. It is manly. For men. Real men. With face hair. Who want that face hair to feel like it was cultivated by a silk skinned martian and woven into a beautiful mane of slick frictionless glory. The lie was that I was not a man when I bought this. I was but a mere boy with hairy aspirations. But now my face has purpose and a smell that would make the Queen herself shit her pants in an ecstatic cum-rage. The downside is now I have another habit to fund, but as is the life of one who seeks enlightenment through miracle cures. In this case, the cure for not being a little bitch.”
“I have never tried beard oil before, so wasn't sure what to expect. Smells nice and pleasant and makes the beard shine... if only I didn't regularly forget to put it on!”
